Jesus Christians.com

Seems like there needs to be a thread to deal with sex issues here too, since they are usually controversial no matter which way one leans.

It is ironic in the JC situation, that the media consistently tries to imply that we are guilty of the free sex/wife swapping/religious prostitution of The Family, at the same time that those who know more about what is really going on condemn us for encouraging celibacy. Damned if we do and damned if we don't!

But there may be something people would want to raise with regard to masturbation, vasectomies (apparently getting a bit of mention on other forums by ex-members who think they know what is really happening), birth control in general, homosexuality, and even teachings about the concept of male/female roles as we understand them.

Okay, I'll start on this one. I see that strict bans on anything suspiciously sexual (like in some religious insitutions) is not constructive and leads to abuses and hypocrisy. Better to have a constructive solution such as hugs and masturbation.

Yes, i can see how easy it is for people to damn us no matter which way we lean. I do think, though, that we have a fairly healthy attitude toward sex that is neither too permisive or too restrictive.

By the way, Maralf, who are you? I thought you were Alfred, but then he posted under his own name on a different thread. Are you Martin? Or have you guys combined your personalities into one? Talk about losing your identity!!! HA! :lol:

When it comes to sexual issues, people’s imaginations can go a little wild. I’ve noticed a tendency with people who have a weakness in one area to presume that others also have a weakness in the same area (and accuse others of the very things they would do if they could get away with it). Because we live in community where we live in close quarters with other brothers and sisters, people who have a weakness in the area of sex, jump to a lot of conclusions about what we must be getting away with! Perhaps because of that, I would say we are extra careful in our relationships (other than within marriage relationships) to keep them plutonic and to avoid situations that could cause temptation. The result is that women are treated with respect and can feel secure in the company of Christian brothers and sisters.

I am having a difficult time understanding why it is encouraged to stay single if you are a JC. I thought the Bible says to marry and multiply. What is the big hang up with sex? I am glad that self-gratification is not frowned upon, but I don't think that marriage should be discouraged. I did read "It is best to stay single" on the website right?

Hi Jon,

It may take a bit of time to explain our entire position. There are a number of articles under Sex topics on our home page, which may help you to understand it all a bit better.

Basically, because we have a commitment to the teachings of Jesus, we have tried to understand what he was saying when he taught that it is better for a person to stay single than to get married. (BTW, are you married? Do you have children? Just curious.)

The command to "be fruitful and multiply" was given in the book of Genesis. What we see is that there has been a progression from that to what is almost the opposite, going from polygamy to monogamy to celibacy IF one is able to handle it.

I'll paste a link here to an article called Moral Development in the Area of Sex:

http://cust.idl.net.au/fold/teach/Endti ... 20Sex.html

Dave,

I am not married, but I do have a 16 year old daughter. I am 36 years of age. I have been an athiest since I was 19. I had a very strict Christian upbrining in Montana, but I changed my beliefs in college.

I am acutually a No Apologies faciliitaator, im trained up to go and speak in schools about its ok to say No to sex before marriage.

I'm no way judging those people who want to have sex outside of marriage, but in this day of age with so many liberal minded teachers teaching that its ok for kids to sleep around, do drugs and drink. This course is excellent as it shows kids how destructibve this kind of behaviour is, especially seeing how so many young children now are catching STD'S and binge drinking.

This is a secualr program but for Chrisians you can add extra components as the bible does mention many times sexual immorality and things like that.

Hi Jon,
You probably have read the article Dave gave you a link to by now but I just thought I could share a bit about what my understanding of staying single being the best option means. I think that when one is single, she/he is more free to do various things for God. I sometimes compare it to the forsake all principle. When forsaking all, sometimes it is not the material things that are hardest to let go of but rather the different relationships we have with our parents and friends. Naturally, when we find ourselves in situations where we are either going to listen to God or listen to our parents/spouses, the option to pick should be doing what God wants. But it is a daily spiritual battle for spouses, as they live together and all that, to always choose to do what God wants without giving in to the temptation of pleasing their patners. When someone is single, it just gives the devil one less area for him to use as a way of temptation. Of course there are areas that are good pointers for being married as well, and as both Jesus and Paul said, if you feel you can't stay single, then go ahead and get married. But even when we decide to get married, then we should know that there will come a time that 'even those who are married should live as though they are not'.(that's something Paul said. )

I do see why it was that Jesus and Paul both stated that it is best to be single. This summer, before I met the JC's, I was about to get married (keep in mind that I am 18 ). In fact, it was my fiance that contacted the Jesus Christians in the first place. When we started to hang out with them and they were sharing the teachings with us, it was mentioned to us that we should consider the possibilty of being single. We were asked to be willing to hold off the wedding, but the plans were not changed. But my fiance couldn't even handle the thought of waiting 6 months for the wedding, so he left! Because of his strong reaction, he doesn't even talk to me anymore. I just see this as an example of the points we are trying to make. He held our relationship in a higher postion than serving God. And he lost in the end. If he had stayed, we may have even gotten married, but he couldn't wait.

I am now commited to a life of serving Christ and I pray that means that I can rely on my relationship with Christ, instead of getting married.


Chris wrote:

When it comes to sexual issues, people’s imaginations can go a little wild. I’ve noticed a tendency with people who have a weakness in one area to presume that others also have a weakness in the same area (and accuse others of the very things they would do if they could get away with it). Because we live in community where we live in close quarters with other brothers and sisters, people who have a weakness in the area of sex, jump to a lot of conclusions about what we must be getting away with! Perhaps because of that, I would say we are extra careful in our relationships (other than within marriage relationships) to keep them plutonic and to avoid situations that could cause temptation. The result is that women are treated with respect and can feel secure in the company of Christian brothers and sisters.

I can agree with all that!!!!! It's proven true for me. I am the only female disciple in the United States (among 7 guys) and people can look at that and assume the worst. But I can say that I am very respected by my brothers and that we all have our eyes focused on following Christ.